tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5483744569183531224.comments2018-07-23T09:36:49.447-07:00Della Van Hise - A Dark and Stormy NightDella Van Hise / Quantum Shamanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15981554252784274711noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5483744569183531224.post-84378427811292101872015-07-05T13:31:07.160-07:002015-07-05T13:31:07.160-07:00As I've been doing further research to clarify...As I've been doing further research to clarify my own thinking here, I think there is one more thing that is important to consider. In so many cases where people claim they are being gaslighted, that really doesn't seem to be the case if one goes by the actual definition of the word. Gaslighting is a form of mental abuse through which one person attempts to deliberately cause another to question his/her sanity, reality, perception, memory.<br /><br />What I mostly see in online discussions really isn't about that. It's generally two people disagreeing and each one fighting boldly for their own opinion. In other words, there is no DELIBERATE attempt to cause the other person to question their reality. Sure, people drive us crazy all the time - but how often is it REALLY intentional? <br /><br />In the immortal words of Inigo Montoya - "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."Della Van Hise / Quantum Shamanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15981554252784274711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5483744569183531224.post-71869078962828664452015-07-05T08:18:22.499-07:002015-07-05T08:18:22.499-07:00Actually... it's one of my bad habits as a wri...Actually... it's one of my bad habits as a writer to use too many "quotes." But that aside... the reason I put the word gaslighting in quotes is because I think too many people in today's world of social media are way too quick to hope on way too many bandwagons. I'm not saying that is always the case - but what the dictionary defines as gaslighting (and I did research it before I wrote the article) is a bit distant from what most people who claim to be victims of it are talking about. <br /><br />So for the record, I do believe gaslighting exists. I've been the recipient of it myself, more than once. But for the most part, I don't think it is INTENTIONAL (and if it ISN'T intentional, is it gaslighting at all, or is it something else - like simple bullying?). Most times, I think it's just a case of people having widely different opinions (and perceptions) - and for whatever reason, humans desperately seek a consensus and will go to great lengths (even religious wars) to get others to agree with them. Strange, that. At any rate, in most cases I hear about (broken friendships & ended relationships) neither party is actively trying to drive the other crazy in MOST cases, though I don't deny that it can (and does) happen. So... sometimes I think it's actual gaslighting and sometimes I think it's "gaslighting".<br /><br />But here's the thing - I truly hope (honestly & sincerely!) that you won't give a fat rat's ass about what I say in my blog. If you want to write about your experience with gaslighting, then by all means... do so! I would be very interested to read your accounts, and in the end my opinion matters not one wit. Seriously - it's just my opinion, and your own is obviously just as valid. <br /><br />Della Van Hise / Quantum Shamanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15981554252784274711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5483744569183531224.post-82460696412862184602015-07-05T07:14:31.587-07:002015-07-05T07:14:31.587-07:00Why is gaslighting in quotes? It's a real wor...Why is gaslighting in quotes? It's a real word, and has been used to mean trying to drive someone crazy ever since the movie came out in 1944. It's been a dictionary definition since 1956.<br /><br />But I'm guessing the quotes are there because you don't believe in gaslighting. Last night I started to write about my experiences, but I kept stopping to re-read your rant. Every time I'd be more upset until I finally realized that it didn't matter what I wrote. Forget everything else you wrote, those quotes around the name of the thing that happened to me told me that you weren't going to believe me. Not being believed is at the heart of what happens to a person who is being gaslighted, so maybe you can see why I was so upset.<br /><br />If you don't believe gaslighting exists, your paragraph at the end is meaningless.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com